Posted on March 19, 2016
How meditation saved my body, mind and soul
Many years ago I found myself quite lost. Adrift in the sea of confusion that was my twenties. I worked my ass off to get a grown-up, career-type job – the one I thought I wanted so badly and had educated myself for – and found out I didn’t like it. It didn’t fit me, I didn’t fit it. But I kept going, kept believing it would get better, that I would grow to like it, that my college years were not a joke and not a total waste of time and money.
Eventually I began to feel unwell- physically and emotionally. I was stressed. My anxiety was off the charts, as was my insomnia and soon my body rebelled against it all. I found myself at a gynaecological specialist who informed me I had a severe case of endometriosis. What the hell was that? I wondered, I had never even heard of such a thing. It turned out to be a strange reproductive disease and I had two endometriomas (growths), one the size of a grapefruit, the other the size of an orange, and countless smaller ones wreaking havoc on my insides. This doctor told me I would need surgery to remove it and that a hysterectomy was a very strong possibility. Infertility was pretty much guaranteed.
No. No way.
I literally jumped up and fled the appointment. I bolted. Every cell of my being rejected this information. I may not have known what I wanted to do with my life, but I did know I wanted to have children at some point. In fact, it was, besides being a writer, the only thing I knew for certain. And the whole writing for a newspaper thing wasn’t panning out very well, obviously. My heart was broken, dreams of family shattered.
Nothing made sense anymore. It was the millennium! How could this be? The western medicine approach to endometriosis was bleak, at least it was at the time. For the record, I believe every bit as much in western medicine as I do in other forms of healing. Were it not for western medicine neither my daughter nor I would have survived her birth. Just so we are crystal clear, there is a time and a place for everything. This, apparently, wasn’t it.
Since the millennium and modern medicine seemed to have very little to offer me in my reproductive predicament, I decided go back, waaaaaay back to ancient healing practices. There had to be another way and I was going to find it. Luckily, I was an expert researcher and interviewer, fresh out of journalism college. I got down to work. It seemed that stress caused and contributed to pretty much all dis-ease. Imagine that.
When we meditate, when we do yoga, when we do anything to heal our mind, body and spirit connection, miracles can happen.
Enter meditation. Enter yoga. Enter herbal medicine. Enter aromatherapy. Enter crystal healing. There was nothing I wasn’t willing to consider. By the way, at this time nobody I knew was doing this stuff. It was for hippie-granola- New Age weirdos. There was no lululemon, no Bikram’s, no Booster Juice or Saje. It was a dark time in history, really. Nobody had a naturopathic doctor but me. In fact, someone once said to me, “Oh, you mean like a witch doctor? You’re actually seeing a witchdoctor?!” Seriously. I wish I was joking.
I flung myself into this experiment that was saving my soul, body and mind. I made healing my main focus. It was my sole/soul mission. I swallowed vitamins, I took tinctures. I went for aromatherapy massages. I went vegetarian. I tried chanting (it was fun!). I tried belly dancing (also fun!). I listened to singing bowls (lovely!) and drums (primal.) I looked for the joy and the sacred in every day. I worked hard at believing in my body’s ability to heal. I drank obscene amounts of water and herbal tea. I walked in nature.
You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.
I meditated often because a lot of the time my body felt too weak to do yoga, at least at the beginning of my journey. I would meditate at the edge of the river. I would meditate at the edge of the ocean. I would meditate on my bed, propped up on pillows with tears streaming down my face because my monthly cramps felt more like labour pains. “Inhaaaale and exhaaaale.” I know this to be true, having been blessed with a complication-free natural delivery with my second babe, a big, strapping, healthy, one-week-overdue son. (p.s. ouch!)
One epic lifestyle shift and a year later I was pronounced cured and cleared for procreation. With no help from my medical doctor. I would check in with her occasionally and she would marvel and say, “Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it,” and then one day, “It’s gone.”
When we meditate, when we do yoga, when we do anything to heal our mind, body and spirit connection, miracles can happen. Just take a look at my gorgeous girl and beautiful boy!
And if you want to try meditation, but are unsure where to begin, contact me. I can help you with that.